Can't Fight Love
by Miss Peg
Summary: Naomi's never been one to love the world or the people in it, until she met Emily. When a relatively small event shatters her family, Naomi's left to pick up the pieces and life as she knew it will be very different. Pairings: Naomily
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is hopefully going to get me out of my writer's block with my other stories. It's not intended to be very long, but who knows, this is the start. It came to me without permission and so, like any other idea, it fell down in my favourite chair and refused to move until it had been fed. I don't think it's my best work necessarily, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.**

**Please **_**review**_**, I do love to read them and appreciate each and every one so much.**

**Disclaimer****: This is Skins fanfiction...which means I'm a fan who writes about Skins...of course I don't own it.**

The call came in at six in the morning, according to the police the neighbours called them because they suspected a break and enter. When they got there Gina had been hyperventilating, clutching her side and crying. That's what they told her anyway. She left Emily, who continued to sleep; fucking bomb exploding outside the window wouldn't wake her. She left a note, didn't want to worry her by disappearing, didn't want to give her any reason to doubt her commitment. Not now, not ever.

The hospital walls were green, not a nice shade either, a sickly, reminds you of death and misery shade. She sat on a plastic chair like the ones in school; the whole corridor reminded her of the one-time she'd ended up outside the head teacher's office. She smacked Louisa Kirk across the face when she dared bring up the subject of Katie Fitch. They'd barely started secondary school and Naomi had hoped that, with the Fitch twins going to some posh religious school, she would be able to shed the past. Louisa Kirk had other ideas until Naomi had grabbed her by the hair and smacked her hard. Unlucky for Naomi, a teacher came out of the offices just in time to watch. Gina picked her up; cursed at her for being someone she didn't know. The action was never condemned, only the anger behind it. Gina never had been a 'normal' parent.

'Miss Campbell?' the doctor asked, reaching out a hand to Naomi as she stood.

'Yes, is my mum okay?'

'She's doing fine.'

'What's that? Some sort of slang for about to drop down dead?' She didn't mean to snap, her default setting had a habit of coming out at the worst moment. She took a deep breath and smiled weakly at the doctor.

'Can I see her?'

'Yes, but only for a few minutes. I'd like to keep her in until tomorrow at the earliest. We're concerned that her blood pressure hasn't returned to a safe level.'

Naomi followed the doctor towards a private area, a temporary bed until a ward became available he explained. Her heart thumped against the inside of her chest, evident by the sound reverberating in her ear. She'd heard people say they could hear their heart, feel it beating, that was the first time she really noticed.

'Do you know what happened?' she asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

'Most likely an anxiety attack. Has your mum had many before?'

'A few.'

_Or dozens._

'Anxiety can put quite a bit a pressure on the rest of the body, if it's happened before I imagine your mum will know how to manage the attacks. It sounds as though this one was particularly bad. That could be to do with hormone levels, pregnancy can do that.'

_Pregnancy?_

'What can do that?' she asked, a desire to clarify what he'd said before she allowed herself to process it.

'Pregnancy, your mum,' he muttered, trailing off with a sigh. 'I take it you didn't know.'

'No.'

The doctor held an arm out towards a doorway and left her alone. She hesitated, wasn't quite sure why. She'd been there before. Not that room, not even that hospital. It happened when they took a holiday to Wales, left at the spur of the moment in the middle of the night. Gina had woken her up, started packing her clothes into a duffle bag before dragging her out into the cold night. The car took nearly an hour to warm up and by that time her eleven year old body had been shaking.

'What about Woody?' she'd asked. The holiday had been planned for a couple of months, the summer holidays had just started and they were going away together, as a 'family'. Naomi, Gina and her 'friend' who Naomi knew was more. She'd been excited for weeks, they all had. They talked about hiking and doing a litter pick, cycling around the camp site and swimming in the lake. It should have been perfect. But Woody bailed on them. Of course Naomi hadn't known that until eight the next morning when she woke up to Gina struggling to breath. The break up hadn't hit her until the day had ended and she was left alone to contemplate her thoughts.

'What happened mum?' Naomi asked, stroking back her hair and pressing a soft greeting kiss on her forehead.

'He's gone,' Gina whispered her whole demeanour very different to the last time Naomi had been home. Three months ago. Had it really been that long?

'Why?' she asked, tears stinging her eyes. Kieran was the one person Naomi actually liked. Most of her mother's boyfriend had either been a lowlife or resembled someone famous; the Jesus Christ lookalike sprang to mind as his eyes wandered down her naked body until he was staring at her crotch, comparing her haircut with her mother's. She'd felt sick.

'He's a shitty little prick,' Gina moaned, turning onto her side, a process that took three times longer than it should have.

'The doctor said something about a baby.'

Gina's eyes closed, pressed together tightly for a moment, a couple of stray tears trickled down her face. Naomi reached out to her mother's hand, squeezed it tightly.

'He doesn't want him.'

'Him?'

'It's a boy. I told him and he seemed fine, then we got back from Ireland, we wanted to tell his family in person. We were waiting for you to come home. We were going to invite you over when we got back, tell you everything. He changed, everything changed.'

A nurse interrupted them, told her she had to leave as Gina was being transferred to a pre-natal ward. Naomi kissed her forehead again, gave her hand another comforting squeeze.

'We'll be alright mum,' she called out as they wheeled her down the corridor. That god-awful corridor; worse than a school, more like a mortuary. Not that she'd ever set foot in one. She'd only been to two funerals; Freddie's and her grandmother's. She didn't really remember her grandmother; all she knew was that the woman had helped raise her in the years after her dad left her mum. She died when she was eighteen months old.

The corridor hadn't changed since she left it, the walls were still painted that awful shade of green, the chairs were still plastic and now it was empty, apart from the redhead rushing towards her with worried eyes. Her heart leapt about her chest, anticipation, admiration, love, it filled her, consumed her until her mouth curled into a slight smile. No matter what happened, Emily made life better. That's what she hadn't realised _before_; she saw love as an all-consuming feeling that fucking terrified her. Now she knew that love wasn't the scary part, it was the absence of love. Knowing Emily was waiting at home for her helped get her through the journey to the hospital and now the love was brought to her, as a girl with hair as red as the blood in their veins.

'What happened? Is Gina okay?' Emily's voice broke under the strain of morning, fuck it made Naomi's skin live and breathe all by itself. Emily didn't stop moving until her arms were around Naomi's middle, red hair pressed against her breasts as she was pulled into a strong Fitch hug.

'Thank you,' she whispered. Coming to terms with what it really meant to be in love, to be committed. She hadn't woken Emily because she didn't want to worry her, yet secretly wished she had. Her turning up came at the right moment. She didn't want to go through this alone.

'Is Gina okay?'

'She's pregnant.'

'What? How? I mean, I know how, where's Kieran?'

'He fucked off, he's been there this whole time supporting her, supporting their baby and then he fucks off halfway through.'

Emily silenced her with a kiss; their lips mashed together in that way she liked before she parted her lips and wrapped herself completely around Emily's shoulders.

'I'm glad your uni is closer to home than mine,' she muttered, thankful for the quick journey to her mother's bedside.

She didn't usually like that about their year, the distance. If she did the last eighteen months over there were a lot of things she would have changed, then again without it she wondered if she'd have truly appreciated her relationship with Emily. If the year could be taken again she liked to think that she would have chosen Bristol or Bath, just to be closer to Emily. But she knew Goldsmith's was what she wanted and deep down she wouldn't change that either.

'She's okay though, isn't she?'

'Depends what you mean by okay.'

The varying degrees of a state of mind had become clear to Naomi when she was six years old.

X

_'Mummy?' she called out, shaking her about on the bed. Morning had been and gone, Naomi had woken up as usual and gone downstairs to watch television and eat breakfast. She'd been pouring her own cereal for three months, since her sixth birthday. Secretly she knew it was so that Gina could get a lie in, despite that fact she told Naomi countless times that she was getting old enough to do some things for herself._

_'Mummy, school,' she shouted upstairs after her television programme finished. But Gina didn't come down. Naomi waited, assumed she was probably having a little lie-in; she got home awfully late the night before. The babysitter sent her to bed at eight like her mum asked her to and she slept for a while, until she heard the front door slam. The clock said twelve, which was very late. Naomi had rolled over and gone back to sleep. When a tape of her favourite show ended, Naomi traipsed up the stairs in search of her missing parent only to find her still sleeping._

_'Mummy, I need to go to school,' she tried again, shouting a little louder._

_'Day off,' Gina mumbled, her voice sounding different to normal, not as friendly. So Naomi returned to the lounge and put on a film. After it finished she realised that lunchtime had arrived, so she climbed the stairs once more in hope of pulling her lazy mother out of bed._

_'Mummy I need some food.'_

_'You know where the bread is,' Gina moaned, startling Naomi. She'd never made her own lunch before. They'd decided that she would get to do that when she turned seven._

_Instead of making a sandwich, Naomi pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed, cuddling up to her mother. She kissed her cheek and said good morning even though she knew it was later._

_'You should be at school,' Gina noted with little enthusiasm, completely depleted, a fake smile forced onto her face._

_'But you said it's a day off.'_

_Gina took a deep breath, her eyes closed with guilt and dread. She pulled herself up until they sat together against the pillows. Naomi waited, knew that she was about to speak, so instead of interrupting she just listened._

_'Sometimes mummy gets a little sad.'_

_'You're sad now.' She nodded and when Naomi reached her fingers up and wiped away tears, Gina jumped in surprise._

_'Did I do something wrong?'_

_'No, no, you're my special little button. You are the only thing that makes me happy. But I shouldn't cry in front of you.'_

_'I cry in front of you.'_

_'I know, but I'm the mummy.'_

_'Uncle Nick isn't coming back, is he?'_

_'No.'_

_Gina didn't say anything else; Naomi didn't feel like asking anymore questions. She'd liked Nick. He lifted her up towards the sky whenever he saw her and twirled her around making spaceship noises. She thought about calling him dad. Now she felt like crying. She missed the way his skin smelled of tobacco and that he didn't mind that she climbed into bed with him and her mum on lazy Sundays. They were a family, well, they had been. Gina held her close, pulled her tightly against her until they sobbed together. That was the first time she saw her mother cry, the first time she realised parents cried as well as children and that was the day she knew that she had to take care of her mum. Every relationship she had after that usually ended the same way. Sometimes they moved in first, other times they shouted and screamed at each other whilst Naomi cried in her bedroom. But every morning after, Gina would curl up in bed for the whole day, sometimes the whole week and for that first day at least, Naomi would join her. Once they stayed in bed for a month, eating only takeaways until a woman from social services came around and told Gina off._

X

That night they didn't go back to Emily's halls, they went to Gina's. Emily cooked them dinner and they attempted to ignore the mess made by her mother. They ate in silence and went to bed early so they could go back to the hospital the next morning. In the night Naomi woke to silence, a sound so deafening that it physically hurt to lie there beside her soundless girlfriend. Sometimes Emily talked in her sleep, other times she breathed loudly, once in a while she slept like a log. Naomi got a glass of water from the kitchen, took a few mouthfuls and stood in the doorway to Gina's room. Every broken relationship her mother ever had ended with them on that bed attempting to put the pieces back together. She tiptoed across the room, as though Gina was in there sleeping. She pulled back the covers and climbed under them, hugging a pillow to her chest. It was no Gina. After an hour of lying there, crying for a reason she couldn't quite pinpoint, Emily appeared by her side, her hand resting on her shoulder.

'Come back to bed.'

'Can't.'

Emily didn't push the subject, she let her stay, even climbed in beside her, replacing the pillow with human contact that brought more tears to Naomi's eyes. She'd never told Emily about Gina's moods, had never told anyone. Except Kieran. He should have known, should have realised what it would do to her. Effy knew too, somehow, she only met Gina once and instantly compared the two of them. Naomi had tried to tell her she was wrong, but deep down she feared she wasn't.

'I should have been here,' Naomi cried out, shaking in Emily's arms.

'You didn't know.'

'I still should have been here, I'm always here.'

'You have a life.'

'I shouldn't. Not when mum needs me.'

'She's a grown woman Naomi; she can't expect you to be there all the time.'

'I should have known this would happen,' she cried out, her voice rising in frustration. 'I should have expected her and Kieran to break up. She doesn't do long term, three years is longer than it's ever been.'

'She's an adult Naomi,' Emily repeated.

'So? She needed me and I wasn't fucking here. It's my job to be here, to stop this from happening.'

'To stop what from happening?'

'To stop her from falling apart.'

'I don't understand Naomi, Gina's always seemed so stable.'

'That's because you only knew her after, after Kieran came into her life. Now, now she's alone again.'

'Why have you never talked about this?'

'It didn't matter before.'

'I want to know Naomi,' Emily whispered, moving so close their noses almost touched. 'I want to know everything so I can be here for you.'

'What's the point?' she asked, taking a teary breath in. 'It doesn't change anything. Mum will still be up and down more than Cook's cock, what does it matter?'

'It matters to me to know how I can help you and it looks like it matters to you, why else would you be in here?'

Naomi burrowed her face against Emily's neck, breathed in her skin, the smell of Emily. 'I should have told you, I should have told you everything.'

X

The smell of coffee filled the room, a smell Naomi had only recently come to enjoy. Gina never bought coffee, not even Fairtrade. They lived in a tea house, always had and Naomi suspected they always would. The smell, as sweet as it was to her senses, felt wrong. By making coffee in her mother's home she cheated on everything she'd been brought up to stand for. Of course the concept was absurd but Naomi felt guilty enough without adding an evil drink into the mix.

'Where did you even get that from?' Naomi asked, accepting a mug of the dark stuff. When the hot liquid burned its way down her throat she gave up the pointless fight and enjoyed each mouthful.

'In a cupboard behind packets of everything your mum wouldn't ever eat.'

Naomi should have known they'd belonged to Kieran, she knew about his obsessive nature when it came to tobacco, Irish whisky and coffee. He often made the coffee Irish too. The previously wonderful tasting coffee turned stale in her throat. She couldn't drink it.

'What's wrong?' Emily asked.

'I can't,' Naomi muttered, emptying the mug into the sink and opening cupboards. 'We have to throw everything away.'

Emily frowned, 'Everything?'

'Everything of Kieran's. Mum can't see any of it.'

Ready for action, Naomi found the unsuspecting cupboard and pulled out packet after packet of coffee, Nestlé's chocolate, even battery eggs, until a bag had been filled. The only thing she kept was a tub of Nutella. She couldn't think of why that was hidden away when Gina loved the stuff, her only real indulgence beyond the various strange flavoured teas and Fairtrade chocolate.

'Naomi,' Emily called out as she paced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She carried an empty bag, went into the bathroom first and took out razors and shower cream, even dug her fingers into the plughole to remove short, dark hairs that most definitely didn't belong to Gina. Emily stood in the doorway watching, judging her. Naomi could feel the judgement in her stare. Then she went to the bedroom, she didn't know where to start. A pile of dirty clothes heaped up in a corner with multiple pairs of boxer shorts she couldn't bear to touch, a drawer overflowing with socks and unopened pyjama bottoms. Naomi suspected he'd been made to buy them for whenever she came home to visit. She hadn't stayed over there in a long time, nearly a year in fact. Bath was only thirty minutes away; she saw no reason to stay with her mum when her heart would be fourteen miles in the other direction with Emily.

'Naomi, stop,' Emily demanded, pulling the plastic bag out of her hands and forcing her to drop the shoes she hastily attempted to stuff into it.

'I can't fucking stop,' she shouted, anger rising up in her chest mixed with something else she couldn't place. 'If mum comes home to this she'll end up back there.'

'Naomi, I said stop,' Emily's arms came down around her, forcing her arms to stay by her sides until the unknown feeling fell, curling up inside her and making themselves at home. Hurt, pain, anger, they all swirled around in her body and she couldn't contain it all, couldn't handle it all there at the same time. Then the tears started.

Even the tears didn't stop her desire to fix her mother's shattered life. 'When I was nine I had to remove everything that belonged to Steve, when I was eleven it was Woody's things, at fourteen I threw everything Paul owned on the street from the upstairs window. She can't do it Emily; she's never been able to fucking do it. Now she's pregnant, I can't leave her to do this on her own.'

Her eyes stared up into Naomi's, deep, dark eyes that allowed her to get lost without much of a thought. They stared at each other, just stared, sharing a moment. Emily reached a hand up and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Emily handed the bag to Naomi, a sympathetic smile forming on her lips, 'You get the dirty clothes and I'll empty his drawers.'

**Thanks for reading, thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**So my attempt at this fic to be a writer's block breaking fic seems to have failed because I struggled with this chapter. This story really isn't expected to be very long - 5 chapters perhaps. But if it goes well then perhaps I will continue onwards with a full length fic basied in the same little world.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I appreciate it, more than you will ever know.**

**To anyone a little unsure about Gina being depressed - do you remember the conversation between Naomi and Kieran in series 3 episode 6?**

**Naomi: 'Sometimes she's up, sometimes she's down.'**

**Kieran: 'Sometimes she's only halfway up, which is neither up nor down.'**

**That was one of the only suggestions that perhaps Gina suffers from some form of depression. I went with it because it's been in my head for a while. In series 4 when Naomi got *really* down about things with Emily, I wondered if maybe she showed some signs too. It can be genetic after all.**

**Disclaimer****: This is Skins fanfiction...which means I'm a fan who writes about Skins...of course I don't own it.**

Chapter Two

Whispered thoughts entered Naomi's head in a jumble like the Webdings font on a computer. It all made little sense. She tossed about in the bed, threw the covers back from her boiling hot body. She slept, somehow she knew she wasn't conscious, yet her thoughts continued their journey into the unknown.

_'He won't bite,' dreamGina assured her, resting a tiny person into Naomi's arms. She resisted the urge to swear at her mother and accepted the little boy._

_'He looks like a potato,' she pointed out, creasing her nose at it's bridge before smiling into his big blue eyes._

_Somehow time sped forwards and he wasn't a baby anymore, but a child. A faceless child. He kicked her and screamed at her to leave him alone before running out of the room. Her restless state increased as she flailed her arms about._

_'He won't hurt you Naomi, he loves you. You're his big sister. Kieran, tell your sister how much you love her.'_

_'Screw you Gina.'_

She woke with a start, her legs twisted up in the edges of her bed covers, her forehead caked in sweat. A hand cupped her cheek and she turned to face the owner. Emily sat on the other side of the bed watching her, smiling at her with translucent eyes and a cheeky smirk.

'I fell asleep?' Naomi asked, pushing up her weary body and resting on her hands.

'You needed it I think,' Emily suggested, moving closer until she could reach Naomi's lips with her own. They kissed, a soft, sensuous embrace that caused Naomi's breath to hitch and her fingers to trace ever so slightly across Emily's collarbone, carelessly wandering.

'He's gonna be a fucking twat,' Naomi told Emily, relaying the dream to her curious girlfriend.

Emily frowned at her, her eyebrows turned inwards. 'It was a dream Naoms, I'm sure he'll turn out a little like you. Perhaps he'll be a complete carbon copy of his big sister. You'll both like girls and politics and when he's old enough you can take him to protests. You could be the next Ed and David Balls.

'Miliband.'

'What?'

'It's Ed and David Miliband, the other bloke is Ed Balls.'

'You know what I mean. How about Ming for a name?'

'Somebody save him now,' Naomi groaned, lying back against the bed and pulling a pillow across her face. 'Fuck my life.'

'What are you twelve?' Emily laughed.

'Yes. Being an adult is overrated.'

'Sorry babe, too late,' Emily chuckled. 'We should probably get ready if we need to be at the hospital by ten.'

X

The corridor leading to the ward was yellow, the shade no less depressing than the green from the day before. She stopped by the doorway, took a long deep breath in and looked to Emily for comfort. They covered their hands in the anti-bacterial lotion that was required before Naomi followed Emily into the room.

The ward had at least half a dozen beds, each one filled with expectant mothers and their equally expectant partners. Gina sat at the back, perched on her bed looking as small and insignificant as Naomi imagined she was probably feeling. To reach her they passed a neurotic woman trying to explain to her partner where everything was to be kept in the freezer, another mother attempted to keep her two older children in order whilst her husband watched some sporting event on a portable television. Each family, no matter what they were doing had something in common - they were _together_, all there in the hospital supporting each other. That made Gina look even smaller in comparison.

'Mum,' Naomi whispered as they neared her bed.

Usually Gina would turn with a huge smile on her face, always happy to see Naomi, just as happy to see Emily. Instead she turned slowly and forced her lips into some sort of fake grin. Naomi's throat closed up. This wasn't Gina. It had been her in the past; many times she'd been witness to her mother's depression. But with years came normality and over the last three it had become normal for Gina to be happy and smiling whenever they were around.

'It's lovely to see you both,' Gina muttered, reaching out and kissing Emily on the cheek, holding her face there for a moment. 'You make my Naomi so happy.'

'She makes me happy too,' Emily replied looking startled once she'd escaped Gina's grasp.

'It's time to go home,' Naomi smiled her biggest, phoney grin that she used on Emily after a small argument. 'We've cleaned up so you can relax and not worry about anything.'

'Is...' Gina asked, trailing off. The weakness in her voice saying more than her few short words.

Naomi stood, letting out a deep breath allowing her chest to deflate as she stood a little taller. 'It's just me and Ems.'

X

After a cup of tea and a long soak in a hot bath Gina went to bed. Under the doctor's orders Gina was to stay in a stress-free environment for as long as she could. Naomi felt a desperate need to protect her, to protect the baby, no matter how much of a tit he might turn out to be.

'She's asleep,' Naomi groaned, sliding into a seat at the kitchen table before looking up at Emily, her nose high with intrigue. 'What's that smell?'

'Chicken casserole.'

Naomi stared at her, her mouth agape. 'You cooked?'

'Someone had to,' Emily shrugged, throwing a tea towel on the table and sitting opposite her. 'Kettle's just boiled if you want a brew.'

'Thanks,' she replied, kissing Emily on the cheek and filling a mug with steaming water.

She took the milk from the fridge, poured some into her tea and dropped the carton on the work surface. White, creamy liquid spread across the marble quicker than she could clean it up. She cursed loudly. When the milk reached the edges she stopped, rested against the counter and closed her eyes. Tears threatened to fall.

'It's only milk, it's okay,' Emily called, reaching for the tea towel and mopping up the mess. Naomi didn't move.

Eventually Emily finished cleaning, a hand came down on Naomi's shoulder, another slid around her waist. Emily pressed soft kisses against her neck and she leant back into her girlfriend's arms. She'd been on edge since getting that call from the police; every little thing reached inside her chest and twisted her heart until she couldn't stand the pain any longer. Most of it didn't even matter. She sunk into Emily's embrace, turned in her arms and rested her chin on Emily's shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around each other's waists.

'Thank you,' she cried out, holding her tighter.

'It's okay to be scared.'

'I'm not scared.'

'Well that's something new,' Emily laughed, her joke misplaced in an already fraught moment. 'Sorry.'

Naomi sighed. 'Mum suffers from depression.'

_She could still remember the day she found out. At the hospital in Wales they sat on the bed playing card games until a nurse came into the room. She asked for Naomi to visit the nurse's station but Gina insisted that she stay with them._

'_Okay Miss Campbell, I'd like to ask you a few questions.'_

_The type of questions she asked could have been answered by Naomi herself; did she feel happy right now? Did she sometimes feel very down? Did she ever contemplate killing herself?_

_To that Naomi shouted out, hurt by the suggestion, 'No, mum would never do that. She wouldn't leave me alone.'_

'_I understand this must be hard for you Naomi, but can you please let your mother answer.'_

_She folded her arms and sent her best death stare towards the nurse. Gina repeated pretty much what she'd already told her. A few questions later and the nurse had informed them that she thought Gina suffered from a form of bipolar depression and offered medication._

'_I'll be okay,' Gina assured her. 'I don't need medication.'_

'_If that's what you want,' the nurse smiled. 'It sounds like you suffer from hypomanic episodes rather than manic, it's milder. I would like to refer you to counselling.'_

'_I don't,' Gina tried before giving in. 'Okay.'_

_They left the hospital later that day with a leaflet about counselling and a bag of sweets from the shop. Naomi chewed on foam sea creatures and talked about the various activities they could do on the rest of the holiday. Gina wasn't listening, she could tell by the glazed look in her eyes, but it didn't matter. They were together again and that was the most important thing._

'You've never mentioned it.'

They moved to the lounge where they curled up on the sofa together, Emily's hand rested on Naomi's thigh. Despite the secrets she'd kept, after everything, Emily still stayed close. She reached up to her face, hesitantly moved her fingers down Emily's cheek.

'There's things that just never came up, that we didn't need to talk about.'

'I would have liked to have known.'

'I know. I'm sorry.'

She imagined she felt the same about Emily, not that there was anything she openly knew Emily hadn't shared. Naomi leant her forehead against Emily's, both hands now cupping her face. She closed her eyes and allowed her senses to take in the picture of Emily's beautiful features. Her fingers trailed across her nose, the ridges of her cheeks, the plump contours of her lips.

'I've always been the person who had to look after her,' Naomi admitted, allowing her breath in to continue to its very limit before letting it out again. 'Most of the time she seems okay, she's a bit extreme maybe but she's okay. Then she gets low, really low.'

'That's what happened this time?'

'Exactly. She loved him Ems, she really loved Kieran and he fucked her over. Every single person she's ever been with including my dad had fucked off when she needed them the most.'

Her voice cracked under the pressure of talking. She could speak for hours about political issues or things that didn't really matter. Whenever she told Emily what really mattered, her voice broke; it ached when she tried to use it.

'Do you see why everything is so hard for me?' she whispered, lowering her lips to Emily's mouth and hovering there with inches between them. 'Do you understand now why I've always been scared?'

'You don't have to feel that way with me,' Emily assured her, opening her eyes, allowing Naomi entrance to her deepest, darkest parts. They stared at each other, barely blinking as they shared one space.

'I'm not scared to be with you anymore Emily. I'm scared not to be,' tears caught in her throat. 'Do you remember what happened when we broke up? That's what scares me. Being like that again, being like mum. I don't want to be that person; I don't want to be the one who breaks every time something big happens.'

'You're not Gina,' Emily muttered, cupping her face to stop her from lowering her gaze. 'You're Naomi, you're strong and you're beautiful and you're brave. I've never seen Gina brave, but you, you fought for me Naomi and you won.'

'But when we weren't together,' she trailed off, interrupted by Emily.

'We were both taunting each other, what happened was horrible, but it's in the past. I thought we'd dealt with that?'

'We have.'

'Then let's forget about this,' Emily grinned, standing up with Naomi's hand still interlinked with her own. 'Let's go have some dinner, alright?'

'Alright,' Naomi smiled back, following Emily out of the room.

**I hope this chapter is okay. I'd love some honest, constructive feedback.**

**Thank you for reading, please leave a review, it takes a minute...this chapter has taken me hours of frustrating moments to get just so and even now it's not exactly as I'd wished it would be. So please leave a review. I accept ANONYMOUS reviews, so you don't even have to log in!**


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